thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
