OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
