she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
