you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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