i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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