So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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