every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
