Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
