Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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