Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
