that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
