dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
