I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
