Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
