wakey wakey hands off snakey
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
time to smoke my breakfast
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So much rum. So many feels.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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