i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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