come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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