its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
