The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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