And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
