Me. At least after what I've been through.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
