Ambien. No doubt about it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
3 2 1 whiskey
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
