There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's official drugs can't kill me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
