i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
