i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
