Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
