I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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