2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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