i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
