I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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