You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
its liver damage thursday
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
