she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Still dying that you shit outside
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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