I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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