Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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