You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
