one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
