I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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