I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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