I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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