Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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