im drinking this country out of the recession.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
