Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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