When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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