I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
