I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
