He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
