this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
