If i come over, it means nothing
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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