Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
