you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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