i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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