the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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