I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
