After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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